Desire

Simply put...I don't know what I want anymore.

I doubt I truly ever did.

I've reached the end of my high school years and, on paper, I feel I've accomplished as much as I always wanted to.

I've made it into my dream school, yet there is no excitement coursing through my veins or giddy-ness in my mind.

I participated in as much school stuff as I want.

I have chilled with my friends to my hearts content.

Yet...my heart doesn't feel content, not in the least. It's nothing to get all depressive about or what not, but I feel a bit empty.

*sigh*

What pensive pensive thoughts.


Then on a bit of a resentful tone, I'm tired of hearing people bitch about their lives without finding active solutions. Allowing themselves to wallow in their own misery is what they want to persistently commit themselves to because for some reason it's easier for them or makes them "feel better."

I'm sorry I don't understand or am unable to offer any Confuciusian wisdom to console one's worries, but one can't expect other's to help them if they are not willing to help themselves.

As my $25 t-shirt says (damn the heat was really affecting me when I bought that pricey bitch) "Conquer yourself rather than the world."

One may think that its harder to have the world in the palm of one's hand, but really it's harder to get one's emotions in control, especially if one has "emo" tendencies.

*sigh*

I don't know what to do anymore. I don't feel like being all that nice, especially when they don't have any nice thoughts to share with me...just negative ones.

YOUR NEGATIVE BEHAVIOR CAUSES OTHERS TO EXPERIENCE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS TOO!

Be careful. Tread lightly. Don't be such a gosh darn bitch about life.